You're not alone

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

MIA no more

And by that I mean.. Missing In Action

J said to me last night "I love it when you're sweet"
We almost got in a big fight sunday night.
"Let me know when you're over your PMS"
"Oh fucking hell you did not"
I think I told him to leave me alone
and he did for ten minutes
then he asked me if I was being serious
i didn't text him back
when my sister dropped me off at his apartment so I could pick up my scoot
he was there, smoking on the balcony.

he's a sneaky one, knew I'd try to avoid him
yes. i'm a bitch sometimes, and i don't know why he puts up with it.
but we're good, good, good. he is so cute
and he is going to try and put on some weight. Which I'm in full support
i'm probably so hypocritical.
maybe i'll save this story for another day.

The curses of being a girl Seriously. What do guys have to deal with other than blue balls? Girls have to deal with the monthly, tender chesters, fat(not lean muscle). Sheesh moneesh!! But I will admit that I prefer girl bodies over if I were to choose my sex, I'd be a girl. My lovely Period has begun. My new meds are definitely making them different. Like this is the third time in my life I've gotten cramps, but the second time in a row. I just wish I could do some cardio. I think I'll be going to the gym tonight for some lifting though! Keeping off my ankle as much as possible. I want it to heal. Oh and Nads it says hi back. Crazy girl. xD

I don't know if I told you all,
but I started taking piano lessons at the beginning of this month.
It has been so awesome!
I've been working on Claire de Lune(lune, not luna)
its a rather daunting piece, and i have issues playing in flat keys
I'm also working on some Bach! Its really awesome
I was going through my pieces before my lesson this morning
and after doing a pretty decent job on the bach
i smiled. i felt..proud of myself?
a strange phenomenom. That is for sure.
Did I tell you I got my cosmetology license in the mail last week?
Forgive me if I'm repeating.

This week is going to be good, becuase I need it to be a good week. I was talking to my mom last night, she was trying to cheer me up. "I know its hard to be positive sometimes" she said. I told her "I know, but seriously with everything that has happened this year. I don't TRY to be negative, but car troubles, physical injuries, one right after the other" She was trying to make me feel better, and I love her for that, but yeah. I just had nothing to say. I am trying to keep going forward with life. I want to write a book called "The worst year ever: 2009" :

Quick recap
Major accident in January
Leg injured
Gained weight until June
Broke up with J(that was stressful)
Got in a huge fight with my mom for a while
0 Money
Accident (my fault, i'm retarded)
0 Money
Accident (not my fault)
0 money
sprained ankle

lots of tears were shed in 2009

But guess what.
Life is life
And I'm going forward
Trying to not look back(its hard sometimes)

Intake so far:

Luna bar 180





p.s. I have a poem about insomnia Imaginative Writing


Fallen-Angel said...

Claire de Lune is such a beautiful piece :)
That's the type of music that makes me want to take up the piano again.

It's so great that you can be positive after everything. I really admire you :)

GTMS- Becca said...

I have terrible insomnia. It seems like I cant stop thinking about food and fat and being gross. it kindove consumes everything...

I got in a fight with my husband and almost walked out... he wasnt even being a jerk or anything, I just get really moody and start fights and all he wants to do is just kiss me and cuddle me. I feel like I dont deserve him, hmmm...

obsessionperfection said...

yes.... i too have bad insomnia. its obsessive almost. and i am glad that you and j are still good.
boys really do have it easy! its ridiculous... they would hate having a period and would be even bitchier than we sometimes are!

2009 was a crzzy year for me too. but your right lets move forward=]

great job on the intake!

SBB said...

Girl's bodies are way sexier than boys! Plus we're just better lol =P
Boy's def. have it easier than us girls but that is for obvious reasons (they're wimps, can't handle things like we can etc =P).
That's so cool that you're taking piano, no one usually learns things after they finish school.
The end of 2008 and like early/mid 2009 (May + June + July) was a really rough terrible time for me too. Sometimes you can't help but be negative even when you're trying to be anything but. Just keep your chin up & keep fighting because if it is this terrible now it HAS to get better. Really can it get much worse? That's my outlook anyway =)

obsessionperfection said...

well its about greek and roman mythology.. its a research paper. so its NOT FUN and he is harder than my college eng teachers.
( im a senior thats also taking college classes) its ridiculous. i like writing ... but only creative writing lol

and i am hoping that running will grow on me!!

Beautifully_Fragile said...

I took piano lessons when I was younger, I wish I can take lessons again but I dont have money and lack of time to practice. Looks like u had an awful year, I really hope this coming year will be a better year for u! stay strong girl!

diente de león said...

i cant really type right now (class ...) but Ill comment later again.
i just have to tell you:
i love reading your blog in class :D thank you for making school a better place. haha


sorry_i_can't_be_perfect said...

omg you started piano? good for you.
i'm self teaching myself through youtube, lol
i can't afford lessons but once i get a job, i really really want to get lessons.
i will search the piece you are playing and start practicing it, hehe
its good to hear you're doing good babe.
sorry bout the cramps. i get them all the time, its a pain, sometimes i do wish i was a boy. :/
but being a girl rocks, so i'm good. :)

obsessionperfection said...

awwww thank you soo much. i really needed that.

=] loves