You're not alone

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Severely triggered right now

I just spent some time reading the first year of this blog. WHO THE HELL WAS THAT PERSON?

Eating disorders are so depressing and what the friggin hell.

Despite this realization I'm fighting so hard to keep a healthy mindset. I want to be fit. I ant to be fit immediately but I know that's not how it works.

In other news, I've been feeling extremely lonely and like I have nobody to talk to.

About a week ago my ex boyfriend's wife started following me on Instagram. A little freaked out by this, but fully filled with curiosity I followed her back. I was happy to see that they recently became parents. And as I slightly stalked her account I was like.. huh this girl reminds me of myself. This girl seems like someone is probably get along with.

Well on Friday I commented on one of her posts before realizing it was her post. Was that allowed? I mean how did she find me in the first place? Why did she find me in the first place?

Well almost immediately she Pm'd me and I thought she was going to be like...wha the hell do you think you're doing commenting on my photos??? 😡😡😡😡.

It was quite the opposite. She said, I know it may be weird but He said we might have a lot in common...  and asked if I lived around the area. She mentioned the weirdness again.

Well, here is the thing. I didn't feel weird about it at all. In fact I was relieved that she messaged me.  The last time I saw my ex was 5 years ago. And before that it was over two years. We dated in 2009 for less than a year. I think he is a kind person and have never felt any real anger or hate or anything toward him. He dated me when I was extremely sick and in deep with my ED.

So how did his wife or why did his wife find me on IG? They moved out here about a year ago and she hasn't been able to make friends and the Ex said we might have some stuff in common. I guess I can ask her if he just told her to find me on Tuesday because we are going to meet up.

what a strange weekend but  I'm oddly excited. He was right that we have quite a bit we can relate to, kids, eating issues, child loss.

Does this sound like a movie? It does to me.