You're not alone

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

0 is the magic number

0 is the size I want to be
0 is the number of excuses I have to not be thin
0 is the amount of calories I've eaten today
0 is the amount of calories in my black coffee
0 is the amount of calories in this peppermint tea i'm drinking
0 is the number of days I have to change my self(its got to be everyday)
0 time to waste
0 days to give up
0 times to stop trying
0 times to give in
0 is the magic number

How is everyone doing? I'm glad you liked the thinspo. I'm working on a short story for my writing class. Its about this girl, Maddy, who winds up in the hospital after suffering a heart attack. She is annorexic. She has to decide what to do with her life, refuse help? Get better? Its been very emotional for me to write, because in some ways I'm her. I don't want to wind up in a hospital, and I don't believe I'd ever allow that to happen. Being thin isn't what drives me, its control. Anyway.

Today has been good. I went to my sisters house, she offered me food multiple times. I said no, then she offered me some peppermint tea, 0 calories? Okay I'll have some :) I am feeling strong today, and so happy too :) I can't wait to continue being strong with all of you's doing the 02468! 200 cals or less tomorrow! No backing out! No messing up!

Xoxo

MJ


6 comments:

obsessionperfection said...

great job keeping it o cals!! we for sure can do this. shoot i am not backing out now! i mean now its easy!!=]


and i bet that is very emotional for you to write, but i bet you will get a good grade because you are getting so engulfed in it!

Steph said...

0 is indeed the magic number! And good luck with your paper, I'm sure you'll get a super A plus, I'm sorry that it was so emotional though ):

And you didn't sound like an idiot on your comment! I get what you mean. Yeah well you know how my parents found out, and as for my two friends, they suspected and kept asking and stuff so I finally told them...

diente de león said...

Ah so thats why you could relate to my "People talk and offer food" post :D
I wish I was as strong as you are ... I admire you. Truly.

Well, let's go for the 0 then.
Good luck!

Love

Lyndee said...

Oh my goodness that was amazing like seriously alomst brought me to tears all i want to do is be beautiful and be thin! thank you so much!
thiN(k) thiN stay strong!
XOXO Lyndee

Ana's Girl said...

That first part is going in my thinspo scrapbook for sure! It's amazing.
Good luck on that story. I understand how it'd be really hard for you to write, but i'm sure you'll do great. You should post it and let us read it!
Stay strong!

Brandee said...

0 will never bring you happiness. It may bring you death~ This reminded me of my double 00 abercrombie jeans I absolutely loved. I bought them February this year and wore them with a badge of honor only I still saw fat and I am 5'8. I told myself the size was wrong. The lower I got the fatter I saw! I took tons of photos and would see the bones but then find that fat! It was easy not to eat. I had no appetite. Food made me nauseated and my mind started to go. I cried when I gave those jeans up to my therapist.
I think the hardest part for me will be gaining to my goal weight which is why I am weighed backwards and don't dare step on a scale because it will only trigger me.
Anorexia, bulimia, over eating, and pica can kill you at any time.
our ultimate goal may be "succeeding" at anorexia and ultimate thinness but when you get there you don't see it and therefore never succeed until you are dead~
((hugs))
B