Every Day Counts

We can make it good or bad, lets make it count toward something Good

Monday:

1hr eliptical 720 cal

20 min weight. Tricep pull down w/bar(this was the day after i got my tat retouched so i could bend my wrist) Crunches, back extensions, declined sit ups.)

30 min x trainer 200 cal

30 min treadmill, walking, changing incline 130 cal Total= 1000+

Tuesday:

30 min bike 190 cal

30 min weight: leg press, calves, glutes, lunges, crunches, quads, inner thigh 170 cal

60 min eliptical 640 cal Total = 1000

J woke me up this morning. "I want an iced mocha" Guess what time it was. 2:00 AM. I was like..."Okay baby but it doesn't open for another four and a half hours." He said it again. I was sleepy and so I just ignored him and rolled away. I woke up around 5:00 again. He informed me "an hour and a half" I laughed. "Still?" So once it was just about 6:30 we headed to the coffee shop to get my baby his Iced Mocha with whipped cream. I also had a mocha, soy, no whipcream, not 20 oz. It was nice. I got to comment on everyone's blogs, and J watched me. I'm very open with him. I told him about last thanksgiving(this accursed american holiday) which was my first year being vegetarian. I told him how I ate and purged all day.

Speaking of Binges

Why do we binge?

• I was reading many blogs this morning and noticed a lot of you said you binged. I've had my fair share of binges. And purges. And laxative abuse, physical abuse. I know how it feels, you can't stop yourself, you can't stop eating, you are in some high, who cares about the low. You maybe start off "okay no binge" then you eat, more and more, "well I've already fucked up, might as well keep eating", more and more, "i know i'm going to purge so i might as well make it easier by eating myself sick". Then you reach the porcelan god. And purge. You watch everything come back up, in reverse order. Once you are sure everything is out, you rinse your mouth, maybe brush your teeth, hop on the scale. You're weight is back to normal. Or maybe you can't purge enough, so you swallow laxatives.

• Its a horrible cycle, and its hard to break. It usually happens to me every two weeks. I binge one day "i'll do better tomorrow". Three days later I've gained 3 pounds. "fuck". I've made myself so sick I don't even want to eat.

• I've made a goal not to binge or purge. I know its a horrible thing for my body. I've been pretty good with the purging, because I've been using laxatives. But even those take a toll on your body.

• What is my mindset when I want to binge? Am I hungry? Really? Would a normal person eat a whole can of beans. 6 slices of toast. Would a normal person eat a doughnut, a cookie, and a candy bar?

• If you feel like binging, its probably because you NEED something. I've been vegetarian for a year. Sometimes when I want to binge, I want meat. So I rack my brain "what nutrient haven't i gotten lately?" Its not always protein. Sometimes I haven't had vegetables or fruit for days.

• Craving sugar? Eat some fruit. Blueberries totaly curve that craving. I don't think eating sugar is bad for you, if you can keep it in check. Indulging in some dark chocolate now and then keeps me from binging. Especially when I savor each piece.

• If you want to binge, try eating something healthy first. Eat a whole bag of carrots. Eat a whole bag of grapes. You shouldn't feel guilty, maybe full, but you know its actually benefitting. If you still can't stop. Run away from the kitchen. Count to 100, slowly. Allow yourself some food, but put away any other food. Get out of the kitchen, sit down and eat. Eat slow. Drink water.

Sottile said...
I totally with your binging theories. They make total sense. I have not had a full-on knock-down drag-out binge for probably a few years now. And I am talking about those HUGE f*er's that cost you like 1500 cals in a half an hour. I still do occasionally have binges, but small ones, and usually on something that is good for me anyway, but I just eat more of it than I was planning to. But when I was a sophomore in undergrad, I used to binge every night before I had a major exam, esp. in organic chem. Then I just felt gross the next day. So I just stopped in junior year, and realized I didn't need the food during studying, and I actually did better on exams when I didn't binge. It was very enlightening.

I'm saying this from experience. I have definitely had my fair share of nasty binges. But we CAN overcome it. Its a concious effort, but I believe we are all capable of overcoming binges. Thank you for your support! I love you all.

p.s. does anyone have thinspo requests, pics they'd like to see? i'd gladly compile them for you