You're not alone

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Every Day Counts

We can make it good or bad, lets make it count toward something Good



Monday:
1hr eliptical 720 cal
20 min weight. Tricep pull down w/bar(this was the day after i got my tat retouched so i could bend my wrist) Crunches, back extensions, declined sit ups.)
30 min x trainer 200 cal
30 min treadmill, walking, changing incline 130 cal Total= 1000+
Tuesday:
30 min bike 190 cal
30 min weight: leg press, calves, glutes, lunges, crunches, quads, inner thigh 170 cal
60 min eliptical 640 cal Total = 1000
J woke me up this morning. "I want an iced mocha" Guess what time it was. 2:00 AM. I was like..."Okay baby but it doesn't open for another four and a half hours." He said it again. I was sleepy and so I just ignored him and rolled away. I woke up around 5:00 again. He informed me "an hour and a half" I laughed. "Still?" So once it was just about 6:30 we headed to the coffee shop to get my baby his Iced Mocha with whipped cream. I also had a mocha, soy, no whipcream, not 20 oz. It was nice. I got to comment on everyone's blogs, and J watched me. I'm very open with him. I told him about last thanksgiving(this accursed american holiday) which was my first year being vegetarian. I told him how I ate and purged all day.
Speaking of Binges
Why do we binge?
  • I was reading many blogs this morning and noticed a lot of you said you binged. I've had my fair share of binges. And purges. And laxative abuse, physical abuse. I know how it feels, you can't stop yourself, you can't stop eating, you are in some high, who cares about the low. You maybe start off "okay no binge" then you eat, more and more, "well I've already fucked up, might as well keep eating", more and more, "i know i'm going to purge so i might as well make it easier by eating myself sick". Then you reach the porcelan god. And purge. You watch everything come back up, in reverse order. Once you are sure everything is out, you rinse your mouth, maybe brush your teeth, hop on the scale. You're weight is back to normal. Or maybe you can't purge enough, so you swallow laxatives.

  • Its a horrible cycle, and its hard to break. It usually happens to me every two weeks. I binge one day "i'll do better tomorrow". Three days later I've gained 3 pounds. "fuck". I've made myself so sick I don't even want to eat.

  • I've made a goal not to binge or purge. I know its a horrible thing for my body. I've been pretty good with the purging, because I've been using laxatives. But even those take a toll on your body.
  • What is my mindset when I want to binge? Am I hungry? Really? Would a normal person eat a whole can of beans. 6 slices of toast. Would a normal person eat a doughnut, a cookie, and a candy bar?
  • If you feel like binging, its probably because you NEED something. I've been vegetarian for a year. Sometimes when I want to binge, I want meat. So I rack my brain "what nutrient haven't i gotten lately?" Its not always protein. Sometimes I haven't had vegetables or fruit for days.
  • Craving sugar? Eat some fruit. Blueberries totaly curve that craving. I don't think eating sugar is bad for you, if you can keep it in check. Indulging in some dark chocolate now and then keeps me from binging. Especially when I savor each piece.
  • If you want to binge, try eating something healthy first. Eat a whole bag of carrots. Eat a whole bag of grapes. You shouldn't feel guilty, maybe full, but you know its actually benefitting. If you still can't stop. Run away from the kitchen. Count to 100, slowly. Allow yourself some food, but put away any other food. Get out of the kitchen, sit down and eat. Eat slow. Drink water.

Sottile said...
I totally with your binging theories. They make total sense. I have not had a full-on knock-down drag-out binge for probably a few years now. And I am talking about those HUGE f*er's that cost you like 1500 cals in a half an hour. I still do occasionally have binges, but small ones, and usually on something that is good for me anyway, but I just eat more of it than I was planning to. But when I was a sophomore in undergrad, I used to binge every night before I had a major exam, esp. in organic chem. Then I just felt gross the next day. So I just stopped in junior year, and realized I didn't need the food during studying, and I actually did better on exams when I didn't binge. It was very enlightening.

I'm saying this from experience. I have definitely had my fair share of nasty binges. But we CAN overcome it. Its a concious effort, but I believe we are all capable of overcoming binges. Thank you for your support! I love you all.
p.s. does anyone have thinspo requests, pics they'd like to see? i'd gladly compile them for you

12 comments:

Flushed said...

I couldn't agree more!

I too am a vegetarian and I find the same things when I feel a binge coming on. I made a choice to stop and the back up plan to only binge on veggies/fruit because I know I can feel in both body and mind that I am stuffed and I feel guilty and gross BUT a 1,000 calorie binge on fruits and veggies isn't likely...not like other things that can potentially be THOUSANDS of calories. So the next day I just don't feel as guilty...I even feel pretty healthy and balanced from the nutrients I've consumed.

Slowly but surely with careful observation of what kinds of foods and calories I've been eating bingeing is no longer at the forefront of my mind, I've started losing weight and I feel healthier in like EVERY way!!

I notice with my fellow blogger (no offense-I love you ladies to pieces!!) but that although calorie counts are low thier nutrients are too...it doesn't surprise me that their body/mind overrides their conscious to get some NUTRIENTS into them...and then it's UNhealthy food which leads to more binges....

It's a viscious cycle but you are so right when saying it CAN BE STOPPED!

Great Post
Sorry for the long Ranty comment
XO

MyNameIsMellon said...

In a perfect world (for me), we would all have fruits, veggies, and one >100 cal indulgence a day. I heard that doing that greatly reduces the risk of binges. But its also the culture which is messing us over. Think back for a second. Have you noticed that most Holidays and events (i.e. Christmas, Birthdays, HALLOWEEN!) are associated with fatty, sugary foods? Its sabotage, I tell you!

MyNameIsMellon said...

Oh, btw September 25th is Hug a Vegetarian Day! Don't forget. Expect email-hugs(and I expect one back =P Lol)!

Sottile said...

I totally with your binging theories. They make total sense. I have not had a full-on knock-down drag-out binge for probably a few years now. And I am talking about those HUGE f*er's that cost you like 1500 cals in a half an hour. I still do occasionally have binges, but small ones, and usually on something that is good for me anyway, but I just eat more of it than I was planning to. But when I was a sophomore in undergrad, I used to binge every night before I had a major exam, esp. in organic chem. Then I just felt gross the next day. So I just stopped in junior year, and realized I didn't need the food during studying, and I actually did better on exams when I didn't binge. It was very enlightening.

teya said...

Great post and it's totally motivating to stop binging. I'm having the worst time right now but I really like what you said..."every day counts we can make it good or bad, lets make it count toward something Good"

Strength said...

you're so right!! i like the "run away from the kitchen and count to 100 plan"...i may have to utilize that one. keep up the skinny!!
EMPTINESS IS STRENGTH
xoxo
-Strength

Ana's Girl said...

Aww. You and J are just adorable and that's all there is to it!
Thanks for the info on binges and stuff. Hopefully it'll help me out. Isn't it weird how it seems like everyone binges at the same time? What's up with that?
Hmmm thinspo requests... i'd love to see a dark thinspo, like all gothic and dark-artsy, but skinny and beautiful. I tried to make my own at one point, but couldn't find a lot of pictures. maybe you'll do better on that.
Much love. Stay strong!

Mina Belle said...

I'm totally taking that advice!

ShrinkingSlowly said...

Nice advice piece on binging! Also, I want to commend you on your awesome workouts!

diente de león said...

This is one of my favourite posts of you because it's so true. I also like how - when you read it properly - you just know that you shouldn't binge and IF, you grab that bag of carrots.
But it really is like this, you don't know what normal people would eat ... do it. What amount is normal? I can't say it. I do not remember.

J made me laugh.
I had the same situation a couple nights before when I was with Markus and was craving a milkshake. But he didn't wait with me to get up at 6 to get a milkshake. He made me come with him go get some bread and breakfast (if you remember).
I love what you and J have. It sounds wonderful.

And he sometimes reads your comments?
Well, I have a comment for him.

Dearest J.
Thank you for being so supportive. Thank you for making a very lovely girl very very happy. She sounds a lot happier with you.
I think you're good for her :)
So I like you too. Haha.


x
Nads

Stick Thin said...

Nads- I'll let J know what you said :)

I hope this helps everyone. I'm not perfect. I sometimes purge even when i don't binge. But i know its horrible. I love you all

fadingxink said...

"But it really is like this, you don't know what normal people would eat ... do it. What amount is normal? I can't say it. I do not remember."
I know EXACTLY how that feels. Wth do normal people eat?when,how often,how much? I tried to get into a regular pattern and eat like others do--but I couldn't remember for the life of me how to do it. It was way too frustrating; I just gave up. xD