You're not alone

Monday, September 27, 2010

I feel them, and it's glorious

My hip bones. I feel them today. My bowels are finally acting normal again. Goodbye bloated fat belly. Isn't it crazy how that happens??

Below: the bloated honeymooned

I feel motivated now to get toned. I know it won't take me that long either. I want to weigh myself, but I won't yet. I don't want to know what wedding stress eating, cruise dining, and bored eating has done between me and the scale.

Good thing is that sugar fat is fast to get rid of if one cuts back on the shit and does some cardio. Which is exactly what I'm doing as I type this.

Goodbye butter and bread with every meal. Sick I know, but it sounded good on the boat.

I must admit, I ate half a whole wheat bagel with a little fat free cream cheese, and then I ate some of my wedding cake. Trust me you would have eaten it for breakfast to if you had a taste.

I had an acai iced tea with blackberry flavoring

Lots of water

Then boiled corn with some salt, veggie and chicken soup, and one mini pillsbury croissant.

Good job Mrs. Burton. That's a start.

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Saturday, September 25, 2010


I am fat and wondering why I got married, at the moment.

Hope you all are well. I wish I had Internet. I feel alone

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Friday, September 24, 2010

So ready for the gym

Well my friends. It's been crazy, busy and.... Fun!

I am married!

Mindy Burton is what I will be known as. And I am so excited to start this new journey.

The wedding itself was more than I could have hoped. Our reception was beautiful, we greeted guests for a while as they ate some wonderful catered food(at least that's what I was told, I probably had two bites of our dinner because there was no time for us to eat!)

We cut the cake, I threatened to hold out if he shoved it in my face. I danced with my Father, and then he played us two songs. One being "love me tender" by Elvis Presely, I was a little ready eyed while I danced with my fiancé. If i haven't mentioned it, I kind of have issues with my Dad.

After the slow dancing, we got our part on as the DJ dimmed the lights and the fast beat started. I was afraid people wouldn't dance, and at first people weren't.

P would want to talk to guests, I wanted to keep up the dancing. Michael Jackson songs were played often(as I requested) and the night went by fast. It wasn't until after the dress was off that i finally felt soooo tired. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I was mistaken. I said goodnight one last time to my fiancé, and before I knew it I was back to our apartment trying to pack for our honeymoon.

It's hard for m to pack, I hate packing...I don't know what it is, but I would rather eat a stick of butter than pack for trips. Gross, I know.

Plus!!!! How am I supposed to pack with a Van FULL of presents?? Hello?? A.D.D plus hate packing = trouble. P went to take a shower as I continued looking at the loot, and then Adderall kicked in and I realized how little time I had before we had to leave for the actual ceremony.

For those who know about the Mormon faith, we have temples throughout the world. Many members choose to be married there. The temple is a sacred place for us members who are worthy and wanting to do so. Ha sorry for the minor religious talk. Temple marriages are also not traditional like you may see on movies, or real life. Only those who have been through the temple are allowed to attend. This probably doesn't make sense to you, or seem fair... But please do not comment negatively about this, I love my religion and was thrilled to be able to marry in the Temple. Because I went through a lot of crap last year, and was not the person I am today.

Soooo anyway. After we came out of the temple we had pictures taken( I will put pictures up when I get home) and let me tell you, some Mormons are very rude, and not very Christian. There was another couple waiting to take our spot for pictures. There was a mother of the bride being a fat witch. "how much longer, you aren't suppose to take this much time"

As Cartman from the cartoon South Park might say "I'm going to kick you square in da nuts!". It's out wedding day tubby, why can't we be happy? I am! And you should go eat more foo an shut up.

He he. We had a luncheon with the family and then we were finally free to start our honeymoon as Mr and Mrs Burton.

Sunday we spent the day shopping, and you know doing adult stuff. We took a red eye Monday morning to Miami Florida. Where our cruise ship was waiting.

The cruise was okay. We both agreed it was kind of full of trashy people. Like the people that drool an feed at buffets, or get hammered at 10:00 in the morning. Or the ones that smoke in the most inappropriate places. I was afraid sometime when we would get our food, there would always be the "feeders" behind my shoulder, their eyes wide open in a daze because I wasn't getting my food quick enough.

Gag me. It's just food, fattening food that is causing my bowels issues.

Okay the good part about he cruise: Nassau, an island in the bahamas. We just took off on foot, and I swam in the Ocean for the first time in my life!!!! The first beach was... Painful. Lots of rocks, I obtained several bruises, but it was AWESOME! We continued walking around the island, it was cool to see the "real" island. Not the touristy parts. The second beach we went to was so much fun, a little less rocky, but ultra sandy. Exfoliated my whole body :) P found some guy on the beach that rented Jet Skis, and my baby wanted to do that badly, so off we went. I had my $1500 camera in the front compartment, that terrified me more than the big waves we were jumping. In fact, one of the waves I nearly flew off!!! What went through my head?

Shit my Camera
There could be sharks in this water

We survived, and it was a blast.
Yesterday we went to Coco Cay. The island it's self was dumb. It was just a tourist place, but the highlight from there was snorkeling. It was cloudy and windy, but we bought non refundable tickets from the cruise, so we decided we'd be tough and give it a try. Luckily the Caribbean sea is very warm, and other than an occasional wave dumping water in my breathing tube, it was magical. At one point we were looking at an air plane crash, there were a ton of fish. So many of one kind that it scared P. Ok. It scared me too, they got so close to us!!! We are babies.

Overall the cruise itself, silly. But we made it fun. I am so excited to eat healthy food. Give me an apple and a cucumber. Sigh.

We are on the air plane now, our journey home to real life. To our messy apartment, and wedding gifts. I am happy.

And we are going to the gym tomorrow

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Formals and bridals

It was hard for me to like the way I looked. With my hair done up, pearl earrings from the mother in law, and wedding dress. I didn't feel pretty.

Some turned out though. 5 more nights until the big day!

I am exhausted.

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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Get me out of here

Underneath the depressed feelings is a girl excited for her big day. Her eyes light up when she sees the dress fit her perfectly, and imagines how much she'll stand out that day.

Underneath the introverted actions is a girl who wants to be surrounded by loved ones.

Underneath the girl who love to feel her rib cage, counting them, obsessively, wishes he could be free from the demon.

Yea it's a demon. My Ed has been my best friend and worst enemy. It required me to only think about myself.

Now there will be husband. How do I balance? Ugh.

I love him.

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iPhone. What have I been missing?

I feel like I have been so detached! I miss everyone in blogtopia. Since moving out of the apartment complex I don't get regular Internet. Well.....until I inherited my dad's old iPhone.

How is everyone? I wish you could be at my wedding.

It's been stressful. Last weekend the dress fitting was a fiasco. I was holding back tears, I looked fat because of the way she had sewn it


My mom went with me to a tailor on Tuesday. We got me a body suit, he is fixing areas, and I feel much better.

Except one thing

Depression. It's hitting me.full force. I hope it passes before next weekend. How lame would it be to cry the day of? Ugh. I am tired of crying, too many days in a row.

I don't know how to release my emotions in a healthy way, I want to cut, smoke, starve, throw up, over exercise, etc. But won't. I haven't.

The gym helps. God helps. Love from my fiancé helps.

Restricting does too. 118.8. Good weight I guess.


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Location:Main St,Pleasant Grove,United States

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

11 days and I can't write in the lower box!