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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

buzz without the bottle

I did something productive yesterday, took my car in to get an oil change :). I walked over to the smoke shop(J quit..but sort of got me hooked again, I'm not buying anymore though) and then got some nice black coffee. Before I got to the coffee shop though I was feeling very light, and as soon as I got the chance I sat down to finish smoking. I think it was a head rush/partial ciggie buzz. I moved more stuff to my new apartment. I know I said I was going to go to the gym yesterday, but I had to re arrange my room twice and I felt exhausted when I finally went to J's house. We had a few laughs. I miss him right now. I know I'm pathetic.

Piano lessons went pretty well this morning. I didn't have much time to practice, but I just love being at the piano. I love the challenge.

Today I woke up knowing I wouldn't be eating. Its just easier, less complicated. Instead of stressing over "what can I eat today" its....blank! I will at least fast until friday. I'm not a huge fan of fasting to lose weight, yes you lose, but your metabolism drops so low. I've fasted 4-5 days at a time and by the end I could hardly move without wanting to black out. But it will be a good refresher for me. I have been feeling a lot more in control. I'm going to weigh in on friday?! I weighed 127 yesterday. I will be at least 124 by friday. Thats easy. I don't know if I've lost weight yet, but I looked in the mirror today and my stomach doesn't look as flabby. I WILL go to the gym today though. Still no cardio, but easy weights.

You know the feeling
you're walking on air?
its the buzz with out the bottle
the high without the drugs
i'm empty
i feel whole

Lyndee my dear Lyndee went to the hospital today, she has to stay over night. Send her lots of love!!

Lastly: thank you for your support
xoxo

6 comments:

*Princess*Smile* said...

glad your doing so well, good luck with the fast! & thanks for the comment, but unfortunately at present getting used and abused is gunna have to be my M.O :) x

Steph said...

oh I'm fasting this week too! I hope we both do well (:
how long have you been playing piano? I've kinda always wanted to but never actually did

SBB said...

You and J are sickeningly cute!! I'd love to hear the story of how you two met!
Congrats on getting through another day with control; it feels SO good right?!!!
Your apartment sounds like it's coming around nicely! Lots of work to be done I bet =P Always good to keep busy!!
xo

Ana's Girl said...

Yay! You're doing so well that it makes me jealous. Lol. Keep it up.

ana_bella said...

you're doing so well and you're so in control well done! I completely agree with feeling less stressed on fast days as when I'm presented with what to eat I panic, I can't decide what to eat and often end up bingeing as there's too much choice and I can't cope with it!

well done :)

Skinniness said...

Wow, sounds like you're doing great! I've never been able to accomplish real fast (I always end up eating something).

Stay strong <3