For some reason i couldn't post a comment on your blog. I tried twice and they were long posts.
I know the feeling of wanting to start fresh. Go somewhere you've never gone, be around people who have no preconceptions of you. In a sense I did this the past few months. I met new people, and even changed my name. I turned into another person essentially and now I don't know who I am ha ha. So if you do get the chance to travel, never forget that being yourself is the best way to be. I'm sure you already know that.
I have never been a flirtatious girl. I don't really know how. The two real boyfriends I have had were amazing though. I can honestly say that being able to trust someone 100% is WORTH it. When you find a connection, and share it deeply with someone, it is a very secure and safe feeling. I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I hope one day soon you'll be able to exprience that with someone special. Maybe bring yourself to a new scene(outside of the party scent) to meet someone new. You are lucky that you have the skills(and looks) to attract guys. I'm sure you'll be able to use it on someone special who will love and, adore, and do ANYTHING for you.
I'm sorry about your stepfather. It doesn't sound like a happy relationshiop. Do you get along with your mother somewhat better? I am often bothered by those people who are older than me. They think they know so much more just because they've been alive longer. Its bullshit. Age is just a number. I think what truly determines someone's maturity is through life expreience. Stay strong
As far as your weight and control. Just try and make each day better than the last. Keep strong, don't be too hard on yourself. We are all striving for a perfection, whatever perfect is for you, and its best if you try and stay positive.