Have you ever heard people say when you're drunk or high you are really honest? Yeah that happens. I'm surprised I haven't flat out told my boyfriend about my ED. Last night I was basically in tears when he started to kiss me. In my head I was thinking how disgusting it must be to kiss me. This was so stupid, but what started it was "looks like your make up has run a bit'. I tried to fix it, but he said to stop, it didn't matter. I was on the verge of tears when I asked him to make me look good. He was holding my arms back and not letting me wipe my make up. He was trying to get the point across that he didn't care, but holy hell. Being stoned makes me freak out.
This is a stupid blog. I'm sorry. Yesterday was a complete failure, other than me passing my test. I'll write a better post tomorrow
Cals today: 560. gross