Tmi? Maybe. I'm digesting food again on my own. Its a good feeling because I have so many stomach problems, and I know an ED on top of it all doesn't help. I'll go through phases where I start taking too many laxatives. Then the lax bloats me..I slowly wean myself off them, but still have to take them. Then I have one day where I don't take any..it hurts like hell. Then the next day I'm fine. I haven't taken any since friday and I'm feeling a lot better.
Last week was different. I was really busy all week. Work. Salon. Photoshoot(I'll post pics soon). The photo shoot was 8 hours and I at least got paid for it, but it always surprises me how sore and tired I get when I do long shoots. I love it though. Saturday I finished filming for the inide movie. The director wants to use me again for his next film. I also got a call from my agent saying I could be up for an extra in a film. 1500 dollars. And..get this..its another indie Zombie film ha ha. He should be calling me today or tomorrow. I could really use the money so hopefully its worth the time. Saturday and Sunday were lazy days though.
I hate lazy days. I smoked and drank both nights. Watched tv shows and what not. I got really really depressed though. Saturday night I was contimplating suicide again. Same with sunday. I don't know whats wrong with me. I need to be happy right? I had a flash back of 3 years ago. I was at this lds camp thing. I think it may have been the first time I ever made myself throw up. I just wanted to have a reason to go to my room and sleep. I truly have had this ED longer than I've known without fully realizing it. You know?
i'm going to be out of the 130's this week.