You're not alone

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Small Vent

Lately I have been hearing a lot of people joke about eating disorders. "I'm working on being annorexic"  "I tried being annorexic and bulimic but I just love food too much"  Seriously shut up!  I get really pissed when i hear people talk about it in such a way as though you can just choose to have an ed, or turn it on or off.  I can't help but reply by saying "How do you try to have an ed?  Why would you try to have an ED?"  Do they really want to hate themselves no mattter what weight or size you are?  Do they really want to always be counting in your head?  Cereal 125 for 3/4 cup.  10 grapes 20 cals.  Small banana 90 cals.  No you don't just one day decide to have an ED.  I think it is just part of me.  At one point I was able to control my ED.  I ignored the fact that I hated myself.  I didn't worry so much about food, exercise.  That was a long time ago though.  Its not a joking matter at all.

  Selfish people don't stay thin.  Ignorant people get fat and are jealous of those who can take care of themselves, ed or not.  They are selfish because they never know who may be around.  It always seems to be me though.

Sigh.  Staying strong today on my liquid fast.  I know I posted earlier but I just had to say something.  I'm not really wanting food.  I just want my head ache to go away and go to sleep.If I ate right now I would be disappointing a two people.  But I'll be here at school another 8 hours.  I'm hoping my boyfriend will come in later so I can cut his hair.

4 comments:

robin. said...

I SO agree with you. Here I am, mentally tallying how many situps I have to do if I eat this granola bar and how many calories are in a pound of fat. When I hear girls talk about this I want to punch them.

Go luck on the liquid fast.

robin. said...

good luck*

shit, I can't type today. Sorry.

myObsession09 said...

I hate it when others think its funny to joke around about haveing an ED. Its not a joke, its a life altering disease that takes up every thought in your mind, every second of your day and completely controls you. I doubt anyone would be able to live with counting and stressing over every single morsle of food that goes into their mouth.

It truely shows just how much stronger and capable girls that actually HAVE an ednos are.

xox
-shagef <3

R Harlow B said...

I totally agree witht the phrase 'ignorant ppl get fat and jealous' cuz there are lots of bigger ppl out there who are fine with themselves and don't care about their weight and their cool. There are others who totally fit that phrase. Some of my old coworkers would STARE when ever I ate in front of them (which is a nightmare for ed ppl makes u not want to eat. And were super bitter I wasn't fat.
I had a friendship end last year bc my 'friend' was 200+ pounds and just could not get over the fact I was thin and she wasn't. I didn't care about her size, but she did and her bitterness and jealousy ruined our friendship

:(