Realization

Yesterday a friend and I (who also suffers an ED) were fasting together. When she texted me this:

"I just had a realization!"

She continued to tell me that if she would stop trying to slip back into her old ways, her restricting, binging, over-exercising etc, and just try and eat healthy, be normalm, she would be happy. I was really happy to hear her say this. I support her in anyway she chooses to live her life. Obviously living a healthy life is such a good decision. Today I asked her how she was feeling. She said she'd eaten breakfast, lunch and she felt amazing. She felt like herself.

It makes me wonder if I'll ever have the same realization. I know that I couldn't eat normal at this point in time. The past few weeks have been horrible binging and i've been purging the past two days. I feel guilty everytime I even think about food.

I envy this friend in the fact that I too wish I could even try to be healthy. I'm so happy for her though. She gives me some hope. I hope she continues her way to loving herself.

As for me. I'm just trying to get my body back in shape for upcoming photoshoots that I want to do. I was looking through some old pictures and I was in such good shape. I can and will be there again..

ta