On thursday I'm going to an open cast bikini shoot thing. I'm scared. I'm expecting to get rejected, but its my own fault. I'm doing a body wrap tomorrow morning, after I workout. Even if it just removes water weight I CAN"T eat anything until after my meeting thursday night. If only I had more time. Sigh.
Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve love. I don't deserve anything because of what I put myself through. I lose hope. I want to give up. What keeps me going? Sometimes I don't even know. Today I hate myself. Tomorrow I'll try and like myself..even a little.
I just have to tell myself "Chin up. Keep breathing. It will all work out in the end"