You're not alone

Friday, October 15, 2010

Tantrum

Maybe I am in bed at the moment having a slight tantrum. Maybe. I just left my warm comfortable bed to get away from my husband.

I was crying, scared about in patient. I needed him. He's too tired.

I saw my nemesis, and stepped on up. I flipped off the scale when I discovered my weight. I will reweigh in the morning, I just drank a lot of liquid and ate a small meal.

I heard back from the treatment center. They were ready to admit me as early as next week. I old her I was thinking more along the lines if thanks giving. That repulsive sick holiday. I loathe it. Loathe. It.

So my admittance day is November 15. 10:30 am. I just read the email. And am freaking out, if you can't tell.

Rules. Phone calls. I have to eat 100% of meals?!? I can't even wear my beautiful wedding ring. I have to share a bathroom? Gross. Swim suit is mandatory.

I want to cut right now. I won't, maybe. Ugh. No. Yes. Why not? Who cares.

On the more positive note, I ran 5 miles today!!!!!!!!!! Yahooooo.

I promise I'll be more level headed next post


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

6 comments:

Peridot (G+P) said...

I CARE.

DON'T CUT.

DON'T.

Please.

Sophie said...

This thing is so hard for husbands, isn't it? I think it's at least as hard for them as it is for us.

You are so strong for going to treatment. I guess they won't let you post from in there, eh? :( We'll miss you.

Hugs and prayers, beautiful girl xxx

Stephanie said...

it's amazing that you're going into treatment on your own, really. I hope you find peace and help and happiness. i'll miss your posts when your gone though ):
good luck love

xo

Emry said...

Sounds like you're having a tough time, but you have to stay strong through it & not cut. You've already been strong by agreeing to go into treatment. Best wishes!

Avani said...

yay, five miles! I know it'll be hard, hon. But if you can't post, we'll all be here when you get back. :)

Sottile said...

You are so strong for choosing to go to inpatient, even though you are freaking out about it. It takes a lot of courage to do this, and your husband will be so happy to see you getting help :) Of course we will all be here for you too! xoxo