I ran this morning, did the elliptical. Maintained a decent intake. And then ran again in the evening with my husband. My question is, can I keep it up? Can I stick to my goals?
I don't like to set a number as my goal. At one point in my disordered life, that's all that drive me. Realistically, I would probably look disgusting at a weight I once desired. If not disgusting, undesirable. And P has told me several times he was glad he never saw me when my boobs shrank. Ha ha. Wait. Is that funny?
Anyway. My goals are rational and realistic. They are to get back into the habit of going to the gym, organize the rest of my house, and be a good wife.
Tomorrow I am meeting with someone at the treatment center. They will asses and determine what I need. I struggle with the decision of treatment, especially if they suggest inpatient.
My therapist still wants me to consider.
Do you know what I hate? This question:
Do you struggle with anorexia or bulimia?
You'd think a treatment center would know it's a little harder to define than A or B.
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2 comments:
It's a hard decision, going into treatment. But once you get through it, you'll feel so great if it works out. For me, I had three months of blessed happiness.
Hey, its Rand115 from J'ai faim. I deleted my blog a while ago because I thought I was done with bulimia, and I was for 2 months. I just finished my first military course, and I've gained back all the weight I've lost although some of it is muscle. Its been two weeks since my course finished and already im back to calorie counting and skipping meals. This shit never ends. Go to treatment, if I could I would.
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