5 miles

I got home from work today and wanted to workout. I asked P if I could workout, he wanted me to wait so we could eat dinner. I asked him if he would go to the gym later with me, he said 'yes' but I didn't trust him enough to really go with me, and I knew it would be harder to get myself to go.

Sooooo I too advantage of the warm weather and started to run. I am still getting used to the new area we live, and I happened to find a track! I don't know what pushed me to do it, but I ran 4 miles on the track!!! Total I probably ran 5 miles, and burned about 500-600 cal.

I am proud of myself. I am getting more in the habit of exercise again, and I feel semi good about intake so far.

I asked P to bring me lunch. Hmph. Two spicy chicken sandwiches was his choice. His band members were dropping it off at the salon, but I told them to forget about it.

Carbs and processed food. I don't need it, I don't want it.

I have been eating too much sugar. Time to get control of that.

I have somewhat calmed down about treatment, for now. I sent an email to some lady asking her about thanksgiving.

One of the reason I am choosing to get help when I am is because i hate the holiday. Two years ago I b/p the whole day.

Last year I just avoided it all together.

So i am thrilled to be in a safe place. But where does P go? He can't go anywhere with extended family. It would be awkward and he would get sad. So I asked this admissions lady if he could eat a meal with me.

I get a voicemail saying 'we don't know if we can grant you a pass to leave for the holiday blah blah bah'.

I was like, did you read my email? I didn't say I wanted to leave. I called her back and wee clarified things.

Good news is, P gets to visit me for a while that day :). Yay.

Thanks for all your support and warm thoughts. I will probably be inpatient for about 3 weeks, and then they'll decide if I need more time or if I can start just day program.

I hope my desire to really recover will come while I am there. As I was running I was thinking, if I gain to much wait I'll just restrict again until I feel better, and then I'll try to be healthy.

Sigh.

Do you think they'll help me have better thinking? We'll see. We'll see.

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