You're not alone

Saturday, October 16, 2010

5 miles

I got home from work today and wanted to workout. I asked P if I could workout, he wanted me to wait so we could eat dinner. I asked him if he would go to the gym later with me, he said 'yes' but I didn't trust him enough to really go with me, and I knew it would be harder to get myself to go.

Sooooo I too advantage of the warm weather and started to run. I am still getting used to the new area we live, and I happened to find a track! I don't know what pushed me to do it, but I ran 4 miles on the track!!! Total I probably ran 5 miles, and burned about 500-600 cal.

I am proud of myself. I am getting more in the habit of exercise again, and I feel semi good about intake so far.

I asked P to bring me lunch. Hmph. Two spicy chicken sandwiches was his choice. His band members were dropping it off at the salon, but I told them to forget about it.

Carbs and processed food. I don't need it, I don't want it.

I have been eating too much sugar. Time to get control of that.

I have somewhat calmed down about treatment, for now. I sent an email to some lady asking her about thanksgiving.

One of the reason I am choosing to get help when I am is because i hate the holiday. Two years ago I b/p the whole day.

Last year I just avoided it all together.

So i am thrilled to be in a safe place. But where does P go? He can't go anywhere with extended family. It would be awkward and he would get sad. So I asked this admissions lady if he could eat a meal with me.

I get a voicemail saying 'we don't know if we can grant you a pass to leave for the holiday blah blah bah'.

I was like, did you read my email? I didn't say I wanted to leave. I called her back and wee clarified things.

Good news is, P gets to visit me for a while that day :). Yay.

Thanks for all your support and warm thoughts. I will probably be inpatient for about 3 weeks, and then they'll decide if I need more time or if I can start just day program.

I hope my desire to really recover will come while I am there. As I was running I was thinking, if I gain to much wait I'll just restrict again until I feel better, and then I'll try to be healthy.

Sigh.

Do you think they'll help me have better thinking? We'll see. We'll see.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2 comments:

Lyndee said...

you are so incredibly strong and i know you will do amazing in your recovery. It was just like losing in a way because you can't stop till you make it. It will be worth the fight. You are so strong love. I believe in you!
x Lyndee

Lyndee said...

Yea i totally get do some fun stuff with ty over fall break we are going to the mall, pumkin carving, and to watch cross country regionals.

And thanks im not really that good i promise. I totally look up to you mindy! you are such a wonderful person!
x Lyndee