Wishing Today was Tomorrow :)

How can you not love agy? freak. I love love love love love her


Firstly: Comments for some blogs that I can't post on:

Ana's girl: I started to smoke when I got down to a low weight. In my mind it was to kill my appetite. It worked for a little bit. But also made it hard for me to exercise. My energy levels also decreased quite a bit. If you have an addictive personality..just be careful k? Smoking really is bad for you, and my guess is you are trying to use it for weightloss? It doesn't cure your self control, you have to find it yourself. I just want you to be healthy :) I'm proud to say I've quit for good! I feel so much better.

Lyndee. I love you girl. I don't know if you'll still read my blog. Stay strong with what your current goals are. Don't forget I'm here for ya!

Thinspo For tomorrow will be....Dance!! I've already started lookin up pics. I hope all likey

I'm not sleeping very well and I'm definitely not cute. I didn't go to bed last night because I was texting some pretty racy things with J while he was at work. I knew that the following was going to happen when I picked him up and drove him to his house:

J and I kind of made out this morning. big time. it was kind of a final goodbye, ending that physical relationship. You know how break ups feel, and those emotions you carry. I thought I would feel guilty a little, but I don't. P isn't my boyfriend. I am no one's girl. And from this point forward J and I will be friends only.

BUT speaking of P :). We are going on our first official date since he's been back :)

He is so sweet.

Today I sent him a text about how I was having a minor anxiety attack(more like caffeine overload mixed with adderol because I really haven't gone to bed. i took an hour nap with J this morning)

He called me up shortly after.

"Ms. Mindy, how can I spoil you?"

I told him about a dream I had a few nights ago.

We had our 3rd first kiss(1st kiss, broke up for 2 months, 2nd first kiss, left for two years...now i'm just hoping for a third first kiss....hehe)

It felt so real, and breath taking

I am really realizing how much I do care and love him.

I know you all might think i'm a whore. J was a wonderful boyfriend, and I still have feelings for him(obviously, holy moly was that a heated make out session). But in the long run I know that we don't want the same things. So there is no point in getting deeply attached, living part of our lives together and discovering what we knew wouldn't work all along.

So yup i'll post dance thinspo tomorrow. I'll let you know how our date goes thursday. Thanks for your support and comments. Stay strong. Never give up on yourself, and never forget you are worth more than the stars, you just have to try and convince yourself of that!!!

also: I'll be taking those pics down soon. probably not the legs one. but yup yup