You're not alone

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

cross my heart and hope to

My life has been too busy for my liking
Last week I had two swim meets, work, boy, shopping, party
I am looking forward to the year 2010

It has been such a long and tiring year.

I'm ready for it to be over.

Things with P and I are slowly developing, and I adore it. I adore him. I keep having flash of random memories. Remembering when I was 17 and him and I shared our first kiss.

Or when we first exchanged "i love you"

A couple nights ago he kissed me, with a lot more..whats the word..passion i suppose. I was afraid he would recoil and not touch me for a long time(he wasn't allowed to do anything more than shake a girls hand while away). Last night I was proved wrong. I think we both want to marry each other. Its foreign for me to seriously be saying, " I could be getting married soon". I know some of those who blog(reese) are married. Is it scary? I've known P for 4 years now and before we left we used to talk about being married. But now its so surreal.

And unfortunately on top of all that I still have feelings for J. I know I just talked about being married to P, obviously I'm not ready for that anytime soon. I love and hate romance. I don't believe in "The One". Which I think plays a part of my shitty feelings running all over the place. Wanting P, missing J. Missing P, wanting J back. F. M. L.

Alrighty I'll try and read a few of your blogs now!!! I'll post again soon. Avoid the sweets!!


Mina Belle said...

you two are uber cute

Weasel Bee said...

Awww, it's good to hear from you again on your blog! :) I dunno why, but it feels like it's been eons. It's so sweet to hear about you and P. :) You look happy with him.

Marriage... wow. It's a reeeally big step, but it's so exciting! I love wedding dresses.


*Princess*Smile* said...

Glad your doing so well, u look great & look like your doing awesome!

KEMPER said...

I feel that way about my boyfriend a lot... I love him so much, I've lived with him for nearly 7 months now, and I can't imagine being without him.

Every once in a while things will slip like "when we have kids I'm gonna teach them like 20 languages!" and cute silly things like that, and it occurred to me that I could marry him...

It's so strange. 'Cause like you I don't believe in a single "soulmate" for anyone. I've been happy with a few people and I think that if we broke up, as horribly sad as it would be, I could still find someone to love just as much...

Ana's Girl said...

I know just how you feel. I both want and fear marriage. I guess it could only be bad if you marry the wrong boy, but that brings up the question, how do you know who the right one is? Tough stuff. Stay strong!