I went to the treatment center to pick up the pricing information. It went like so:
i walked into the building and was warmly greeted by the receptionist. i stumbled over the words "inpatient...treatment...pricing". admissions lady is busy, but receptionist can answer some questions.
"we usually recommend 3 months for bulimia, 4 months for anorexia, keep in mind everyone is different" she was interrupted by the admissions lady on the phone.. i stepped away and got a drink. I nearly cried right in front of her.
she asks me to wait, i take a seat, trying to hide behind a floral arrangement. i'm freaking out inside, 4 months? no. 3 weeks is what my therapist talked about. would they want me to do more? this sucks. RUN AWAY MINDY!
i stayed seated, a girl walks in with her mother. she is being dropped off. she looks healthy, i try not to make eye contact but it happens. she is wondering why this fat girl is sitting at the front of the building crying.
admissions lady takes me into her office. we talk, i tell her i'm overwhelmed. she is so nice. "i know its hard, but you're doing the right thing"
I don't deserve so much love and support. from you guys, from my fiance', Perry. There you go, that is his name. I adore him. I love him. He was so sweet with me last night when I was talking to my mom about treatment. I'm still scared.
I'm a little less fat today. I know I went over my calorie goals for today, but I worked hard at the salon and I've been doing really well so I don't feel too guilty. I am hoping to get rid of some stomach flab. its gross.