You're not alone

Sunday, February 21, 2010


This is our Valentines Night. I look gross, he is a babe
Can you tell I love this man?
My Portuguese lover

I've been very sick as of late. Two weeks ago I was in bed for nearly 3 days straight. Runny bowel movements, puking, and completely exhausted. On top of it all P and I have been having major discussions, causing serious emotional break downs.

I went to my chiropractor and found all the various problems, bacterial infections, viral, allergy, and some cranial issues. I got a massage last week, really helped ease the tension. I'm feeling a lot better :)

Minus the fact that my eating has been disappointing to myself. I'm trying to eat more, please everyone that was getting worried about me. I feel fat, shitty, horribly disgusting. I've put on maybe 3 pounds. I know I can lose it, if I get back on track. but its hard when P is always keeping his eye out. We went running 2 times last week, and we plan to go more this week. I also took him snowboarding on friday. So I'm being active. I just need to get into a routine. I can't cut back and completely starve myself, but I can cut back a little, and get in shape.

Emotionally. P and I talked about..the ex. J. Basically he wants to beat his Ass. Since i've stopped using substances, I am able to see how I really did feel about J. Our relationship was clouded by drugs/alcohol.

Doesn't mean P was happy to find a few things out.

We are in love. We want to make love, but we believe in celebacy until marriage he he. Doesn't mean its hard not to get too passionate. We went to my brothers wedding yesterday, after the ceremony I was giving him a tour of my parents huge house. We ended up in my little brothers secret room, made out for a bit. He is...amazing. I've loved him for 4 years. And now all I want is to fall asleep next to him, and then see him first thing in the morning. It will take time, but I think we'll be married within this year. Crazy to think about. I've already started designing a wedding dress.

This weeks plan:
MW 800 or less
T- liquid
Th - 0
F - 800
S - 600
Su - 0

I'll try it out. I' m going to be running with P tomorrow, and hopefully other days. And then we'll be snowboarding again this weekend :) Stay strong girls. Nads, Mellon, I am so glad to see you guys back! I know that you are both struggling with things, Nads - i hope you figure things out with 'ben'. Mellon - I hope you can break out of the cycle soon. Its rough, but its worth it. We are here for you


Sar said...

Wow girl, congrats on the future wedding. I am happy to see you so happy! Stay strong, even if that means staying healthy. Healthy is good. Lots of love & support from me to you..

xo. Sar.

pagesofsweetpeas. said...

you two are impossibly adorable - you just look so happy together. gook luck with the celibacy! ;)
staystrong, page.

Sottile said...

You two look so good together, you just look right :) You're meant to be!

Have fun snowboarding! I've never been, but I am a life-long skier, and I am obsessed with it. It's so great to go up the lift, get off, and feel like you are on top of the world.

MyNameIsMellon said...

Grrr. You are so cute. I'm totally jealous. Lol. You guys look really good together! I hope you feel better, hon =(

Lola said...

You guys look so cute together! Adorable. :)

Stay strong gorgeous.

With love,


Sarah. said...

Awhhh you two are so adorable :)
Im glad you sound just so content its wonderful!
Love love love xx

Anonymous said...

Make hay while the sun shines.........................................

Anonymous said...

omg, let us see your wedding dress plans! Please please pleeeeeeeease! :D:D:D

zen said...

OMG sweet. Love the pink tie.
Keeping active is awesome... burns off cals and gives us those "happy" endorphins.

xoxo zen

Ana's Girl said...

Awww. You two are just so adorable!
Keeping active is even better for you than just restricting, so keep that in mind. You'll be fine, love. I promise you won't gain a whole ton. (but i know it can feel that way.) *hugs*

battleinmind said...

Your legs look so tiny in those pictures! Congrats on the soon to be engagement :D You look like a lovely couple!

Love Battle xxx

Miss Burton said...

okay whatwhatwhatwhatwhat???!?!

j's history?

oh gosh i missed so much!!!!
i can barely keep up, please tell me in like two or three sentences the most important things i need to know?

j's gone, right? why???? i thought he was so supportive! he sounded like a really nice blogke!

Beginning to Beautiful said...

New phone so i can leave comments. You guys are adorable together!