update

This is our Valentines Night. I look gross, he is a babe

Can you tell I love this man?

My Portuguese lover

I've been very sick as of late. Two weeks ago I was in bed for nearly 3 days straight. Runny bowel movements, puking, and completely exhausted. On top of it all P and I have been having major discussions, causing serious emotional break downs.

I went to my chiropractor and found all the various problems, bacterial infections, viral, allergy, and some cranial issues. I got a massage last week, really helped ease the tension. I'm feeling a lot better :)

Minus the fact that my eating has been disappointing to myself. I'm trying to eat more, please everyone that was getting worried about me. I feel fat, shitty, horribly disgusting. I've put on maybe 3 pounds. I know I can lose it, if I get back on track. but its hard when P is always keeping his eye out. We went running 2 times last week, and we plan to go more this week. I also took him snowboarding on friday. So I'm being active. I just need to get into a routine. I can't cut back and completely starve myself, but I can cut back a little, and get in shape.

Emotionally. P and I talked about..the ex. J. Basically he wants to beat his Ass. Since i've stopped using substances, I am able to see how I really did feel about J. Our relationship was clouded by drugs/alcohol.

Doesn't mean P was happy to find a few things out.

We are in love. We want to make love, but we believe in celebacy until marriage he he. Doesn't mean its hard not to get too passionate. We went to my brothers wedding yesterday, after the ceremony I was giving him a tour of my parents huge house. We ended up in my little brothers secret room, made out for a bit. He is...amazing. I've loved him for 4 years. And now all I want is to fall asleep next to him, and then see him first thing in the morning. It will take time, but I think we'll be married within this year. Crazy to think about. I've already started designing a wedding dress.

This weeks plan:

MW 800 or less

T- liquid

Th - 0

F - 800

S - 600

Su - 0

I'll try it out. I' m going to be running with P tomorrow, and hopefully other days. And then we'll be snowboarding again this weekend :) Stay strong girls. Nads, Mellon, I am so glad to see you guys back! I know that you are both struggling with things, Nads - i hope you figure things out with 'ben'. Mellon - I hope you can break out of the cycle soon. Its rough, but its worth it. We are here for you