b: half a pumpkin chocolate chip homemade muffin
soy mocha
l: chicken apple cashew salad, veggies, corn chips
So dinner at Texas Roadhouse (never thought I'd go here but my friend sold me when she said salmon) didn't scare me. I had one and a half of a small roll. Shared a frozen lemonade with hubby. a few peanuts. And then 1/4 sweet potato and 1/4 of my Salmon.
Well, whilst eating my friend asks me:
Why are you cutting your food so small
great. now all eyes are on me. she knows I have an ED and am struggling. It was so awkward. So effing awkward. Why did she have to say anything? I don't think people should ever comment on how someone eats. I talked to my husband about it last night, and he agreed.
He said one time he was at work, eating a few spoonfuls of ice cream out of the tub. He didn't want to get a bowl, it was his ice cream. Then someone walks in and says "what are you doing oinker? going to eat the whole tub to yourself?" He said
that pissed me off
and I don't even have an eating disorder
Stooopid people. stupid. stupid. stupid.
Workout for the weekend. Stair climber, 30 min. Lazy me
Today. was.
interesting.
I rented "The Black Swan" and watched part of it during work. Very triggering if you have an ED or suffer a multiple personality. ha. that's me. I don't think I'm bi polar, but when I get sucked into my ED its like I have two people talking to me.
anyway.
I didn't get to finish all of it before I drove to coach my swim team. On my way there I was kind of having a breakdown. I texted my sister who has recovered from years of bulimia/anorexia etc, and who is also a therapist. We did some guided imagery therapy. I told her that the Center for Change taught me how to cope and blah blah blah. But I never felt like I learned how to deal with the "real problem".
She didn't pressure me to come back anytime soon. She just said
I love you
let me know if you need to come back
It was nice to talk to someone who understands.
I went to the gym just a while ago.
biceps, lower back, shoulders and abs
25 min bike
15 min eliptical
I'm weighing myself in the morning.
3 comments:
Sorry about your insensitive friend *eyeroll*. Some people just don't have a clue.
But, there's just nothing in the world quite like an understanding sister, is there? Yours sounds lovely :)
That was rude to make a comment at all. Very insensitive. And I agree. NEVER comment about people and their food or the way they are eating. Fat, slim it doesn't matter. It's just rude.
I'm sorry but people should really keep there opinions to themselves. One time my freind asked me if I was going to eat my lunch. I said that I'd rather get my work done but the way she said it was still pretty insensitive. But then again she's one of those few girls who are a size zero and can eat whatever they want so she doesn't understand why I don't eat so much...
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