Ombré

Had fun doing some subtle ombré highlights on the mannequin.

I am secretly hoping no one comes in to the salon in the next hour. I need to rest my chubby swollen feet.

Since i've been pregnant my patience has gone down. Especially for my husband. I think I am a pretty cool wife. He plays in two bands, drums in two I should specify. He drives 60 totals miles per week for one band, the other is local. But Monday-Thursday night he is usually out late. And if he has shows that weekend it feels non stop.
For the most part, I don't complain. Things will be a lot different when baby is here, so I am trying not to hold him back. Yet, I feel like a lazy butt because he comes home to a less than tidy house. He says it stresses him out. I then interpret that as I am a bad wife. I am trying my best to manage school, work, pregnancy, house, and dog.
I miss running. I miss gym. I miss taking care or MYSELF. I miss my ankles lol.



Pretty bad right?

Emma Watson!

She is cute

Thyroid

I visited my chiropractor this morning. He found my thyroid was out of whack, sent me home with 4 different supplements, and I feel a lot more at ease. Nothing seemed to be alarming to him.

It all makes sense now. My chest had been feeling off. Breathing was a little hard for me. And I have been so terribly sluggish on the morning. It's just hard to know if it's pregnancy related or not.

Will this solve the swelling? We'll see. I know that swelling is just part of pregnancy. I have cut back my hours at work, I am a hair dresser. I hope it helps a little with the swelling. I have been such a baby.

I was running a lot before the pregnancy. But my first 17 weeks or so were pretty bad. Throwing up every morning, and feeling nausea afternoon and night. I also have been taking some hard classes and working a lot. I was coaching a swim team up through February. Needless to say I haven't done much to stay active, other than walking back and forth to campus.

If I am going to have to cut back at work, I will be at home more. Today I planned to get a lot done, but I threw up three times before 11. So. I was lazy and pissed off.

Right now I am stretching my legs, doing some light calisthenics, and want to drop by the gym to do some bike or elliptical. I want to be strong for my birth. I will tell you more about that tomorrow.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hello again

I feel alone right now. And I miss being able to feel a sense of community through blogger.

To catch up on my life... I am pregnant. Lol. It kind of happened when we weren't exactly trying, but in the end we at excited. Scared, yes. Nervous, yes. Here is a picture of her profile.





So yes it's a girl.

I have of course been struggling with my changing body. I try not to think about it and be too self conscious. I believe the baby feels what I feel, and I don't want her to already have a low self esteem.

This past week I have experienced terrible swelling. Like my legs probably retained an extra 5-10 pounds of water. So I have worn sweats for 4 days now lol. I got to rest up yesterday and today. But now my ankles are so sore! I am going to see my chiropractor uncle. Hopefully my blood pressure is ok and I just need to get off my feet more.

I am almost done with this semester. I have been taking statistics and math. 5 more weeks. Bleh.

Hope everyone is doing well. Looking forward to catching up.

so sick so sick of being tired

and oh so tired of being sick! - taking back sunday

I love that band.

So I just took my third test for this class. 76 percent. Now, before you think i'm stupid, this is a science class and the average is like a 60 precent. The last test had an A at 74 percent. I am happy!

I am not happy about my face and how chubby it looks in pictures. I want my old body back.

I've been wearing ankle weights like everyday ha ha. Every calorie counts, right?

Food stinks

I have agreed to go out to eat with a girl I met in treatment. She was the one that suggested dinner. I feel like I can't really make up any old excuse. She'd know. Plus, I want to see her. We really connected.

Last time I weighed in I was 135.8.

My husband has been baby sitting me a lot more with meals. He knows I've been cutting too. No reason to hide it. I know I need to stop.

I ran four miles yesterday! It felt soooo good. But I didn't stretch ha ha. Bad girl. Can't wait to go home and use my foam roller on my sore muscles.

I haven't been able to blog. My husband started getting annoyed with me reading your blogs.

I'll be back sooner than last time

Xoxo


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

why are you cutting such small bites

I went on a double date Saturday night. I felt pretty confident. I didn't eat a ton. I had:

b: half a pumpkin chocolate chip homemade muffin

soy mocha

l: chicken apple cashew salad, veggies, corn chips

So dinner at Texas Roadhouse (never thought I'd go here but my friend sold me when she said salmon) didn't scare me. I had one and a half of a small roll. Shared a frozen lemonade with hubby. a few peanuts. And then 1/4 sweet potato and 1/4 of my Salmon.

Well, whilst eating my friend asks me:

Why are you cutting your food so small

great. now all eyes are on me. she knows I have an ED and am struggling. It was so awkward. So effing awkward. Why did she have to say anything? I don't think people should ever comment on how someone eats. I talked to my husband about it last night, and he agreed.

He said one time he was at work, eating a few spoonfuls of ice cream out of the tub. He didn't want to get a bowl, it was his ice cream. Then someone walks in and says "what are you doing oinker? going to eat the whole tub to yourself?" He said

that pissed me off

and I don't even have an eating disorder

Stooopid people. stupid. stupid. stupid.

Workout for the weekend. Stair climber, 30 min. Lazy me

Today. was.

interesting.

I rented "The Black Swan" and watched part of it during work. Very triggering if you have an ED or suffer a multiple personality. ha. that's me. I don't think I'm bi polar, but when I get sucked into my ED its like I have two people talking to me.

anyway.

I didn't get to finish all of it before I drove to coach my swim team. On my way there I was kind of having a breakdown. I texted my sister who has recovered from years of bulimia/anorexia etc, and who is also a therapist. We did some guided imagery therapy. I told her that the Center for Change taught me how to cope and blah blah blah. But I never felt like I learned how to deal with the "real problem".

She didn't pressure me to come back anytime soon. She just said

I love you

let me know if you need to come back

It was nice to talk to someone who understands.

I went to the gym just a while ago.

biceps, lower back, shoulders and abs

25 min bike

15 min eliptical

I'm weighing myself in the morning.