You're not alone
Sunday, November 25, 2012
I need to start blogging again. I don't have very many people to talk to that understand and relate to what I go through. No one understands the absolute devistation I can feel when I look in the morning and see a giant whale staring back.
if i said that to someone who doesn't have an ED they would think i was being dramatic.
So I will be posting here again. I need to. I stepped on the scale today and was disgusted. This is the most i have weighed in my whole life. I hate myself. I am worthless fatty fat fat. I miss everyone on here. I started this blog almost four years ago. I have seen people come and go. Luckily, I have not seen someone on here pass away. They just move on. I am so happy for those that can fight the battle, and move on. It is hard to let go of something that feels safe.
Yes. My ED makes me feel safe. Its a way I have been coping for so long. I try other ways. It just goes on from one addiction to the next. I would rather not mutilate my body(been doing really well on not cutting btw). I would rather not drink alcohol(as it only makes me retain and gain weight). I also would rather not starve myself. But that doesn't seem to have any immediate hurt toward my husband.
So if there is anyone out there that still follows me. Let me know so I can follow you back. Now I must post the embarrassing stats.
Tomorrows Goal: Intake 1200. Outake 500. Water 8 glasses.
Written by Stick Thin at 7:53 PM