How did everyones Thanksgiving go? (For those who celebrate American thanksgiving). I am happy to annouce I survived. There are so many things surround this time of year that trigger major anxiety and depression. As I explained to my therapist:
- Having an ED around such a Food Filled event sucks. I remember some thanksgivings where I would b/p all day. All Fucking day. I hate the obssesion surrounding this damn holiday. I hate the "black friday" bull shit(no offense to anyone that loves black friday. this is just me). There are crowds, traffic, pissy people, ultra happy people. All of it.
- Family: My family sucks most of the time. Mainly: Father. Brother #2, Sis in law, and other sister. Plus all of the little nieces and nephews, whom i adore, but not when they are all together at once. My family likes to cope by being silly. and annoying. Ugh you are 30 years old! Stop playing around at the dinner table. Right?
- This time last year: This time last year I had suspicions that I was pregnant. I remember last TG I was talking to my Mom, my sisters, everyone that has ever been pregnant, trying to figure out why my boobs were so sore. Why I was so tired and moody. I found out I was pregnant I think around today or tomorrow last year. From that point on until we told everyone it was exciting. Scary, but exciting. We had fun surprising the family. His family was so excited for a grandchild. I was scared shitless, but I was happy.
GOOD NEWS!! Is that I was so anxious during TG that i barely ate anything. I ate a lot of good stuff in good porportions, and hardly any dessert. Although I did snack a lot the following days, the point is, I am pleased with myself. I didn't have to pig out. I didn't feel the need to purge(ok maybe once). I am proud of myself.
I finally got the balls to step on the scale and that is what led me to 'reawaken' in blogsphere. I am embarrased. 147. For real? I used to be disgusted when i was 137. Where have my standards and self respect gone? Haha. For those who want to tell me "its not that bad", please refrain. You can tell me that when I start bitching about being 130. Okay?
I have been doing well today. I am staying on target. Except I haven't had enough water. Water is so important. So so so so important. Hey! For anyone interested in viewing my hair blog its Innovative Hair and Style
Good news. In the time it took me to actually post this I have dranken 8+ cups of water! I also worked out for 55 min. Stats
Good night. Sleep well. I'm ready for tomorrow.