For all of you who commented on my last post(and to those who didn't, I know there are many who read) THANKS! I really had a boost in spirits when I got on blogger today.
Plan: Fast tomorrow.
Camping went..shitty. Ha ha. My period started the night we got there(which took longer than it should have because P and I got lost. He he.) It was horrible! I swear. The One period out of the whole year that I actually get physical symptoms(cramps) had to happen on this trip!!
and I ate a ton of crap because I felt like crap. I'm such a lame-o
Not to fret!! The day we returned(last thursday) I got a little more on track. In fact I didn't really have anything to eat at my house, so I ate when P offered me food. My weekend was....
I had to scold P a few times because he was being..spacey. Yes. Spacey. I was getting upset about things and he actually understood and felt bad. I'm not the type of person who tries and create drama, or over reacts. I can admit when I'm wrong, but in this case, I needed him to see that it wasn't my fault. I love him.
I saw my Ex last week. It caused a major mood swing. He was so depressing. I sat there talking to him and just thought "why am I here? he has nothing positive to say". And then a few hours after I felt vunerable, attacked.
Long story short. He wanted me to meet with him face to face and tell me why exactly we couldn't talk to each other anymore. I refused to even talk to him on the phone. I sent him an email. He pissed me off. I hate myself. He makes me think about the person I hated to be.
i'm doing better now. I think.
I went to the Gym yesterday!! Felt so good. Actually i feel really sore now, but if I wasn't such a lazy butt(fat butt) then I wouldn't be!
Other good news: I started a new job today(well its a second job) at a Salon!! I went in for an hour and worked on a manequin head. I have my own designated station already. I didn't even know if I wanted to work here, but I thought, might as well give it a shot. Its so messy in the back. Once I start working as a real stylist I'm going to clean it up for my new boss. She is so gorgeous, and she is a nutritional science major! I love healthy people!!!!!
I don't have much else to say, but I'm going to make a second post later tonight. It will be an excerpt from the journal my therapist suggested I start writing. I have been transfering the entries I made while I was on my trip into the journal. some of the words were very...interesting. Is that weird? A few weeks ago I was very consumed by Ana, and trying to figure out my anoretic self.
The past few days I feel very care free and happy. P told me it was contageous. I want to keep it up!