You're not alone

Monday, December 27, 2010

What a depressing last post!!



I apologize.
Right after I posted, P and I had a long talk about what was going on in my head.
Its still going on

Why do I look at things like this:
It triggers me. I purged on christmas day for the first time in...2-3 months. I am sure watching the documentary "Thin" didn't help. P started getting on my case when he used my phone and saw that I was watching other triggering videos online.


I didn't go to treatment today and I'm so happy. P(my husband) had the day off and my therapist ok'd it. I didn't tell him about the 'slip up', but I did admit i had a hard day. I have to do an cause analysis for him.

I think there are great things I'm learning from treatment, but it has its flaws. I have a hard time knowing what to eat on the weekends, so I always feel like I'm just eating constantly. I hate it. I also feel confident about working out more, in a healthy way, but they pa poo it almost entirely.

I will live

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

glad you are sticking with treatment!! I know...it's very hard to kick this whole thought process.

Sophie said...

I'm glad you and P have each other. And I'm glad you're sticking this treatment out - doesn't sound like much of a 'treat' har har. Sorry, lame humour... I'm proud of you.
PS I want to BE that girl! We're all in this thing together, but I believe you'll get out and I'm happy for you xx

Strength said...

wow she's very pretty...great thinspo
xoxo
Strength
140

Anonymous said...

I realize my comment may get lost, i'm not on a very frequent page, i've been trying to sort through your blog on my iphone. Please email me, i would love to chat with you. you seem very similar to me, and right now you seem like my only friend. i would love to chat with you to see if you can help me...
CourtneyFromTheMoon@yahoo.com