Right after I posted, P and I had a long talk about what was going on in my head.
Its still going on
Why do I look at things like this:
It triggers me. I purged on christmas day for the first time in...2-3 months. I am sure watching the documentary "Thin" didn't help. P started getting on my case when he used my phone and saw that I was watching other triggering videos online.
I didn't go to treatment today and I'm so happy. P(my husband) had the day off and my therapist ok'd it. I didn't tell him about the 'slip up', but I did admit i had a hard day. I have to do an cause analysis for him.
I think there are great things I'm learning from treatment, but it has its flaws. I have a hard time knowing what to eat on the weekends, so I always feel like I'm just eating constantly. I hate it. I also feel confident about working out more, in a healthy way, but they pa poo it almost entirely.
I will live