You're not alone

Thursday, September 9, 2010

iPhone. What have I been missing?

I feel like I have been so detached! I miss everyone in blogtopia. Since moving out of the apartment complex I don't get regular Internet. Well.....until I inherited my dad's old iPhone.

How is everyone? I wish you could be at my wedding.

It's been stressful. Last weekend the dress fitting was a fiasco. I was holding back tears, I looked fat because of the way she had sewn it


My mom went with me to a tailor on Tuesday. We got me a body suit, he is fixing areas, and I feel much better.

Except one thing

Depression. It's hitting me.full force. I hope it passes before next weekend. How lame would it be to cry the day of? Ugh. I am tired of crying, too many days in a row.

I don't know how to release my emotions in a healthy way, I want to cut, smoke, starve, throw up, over exercise, etc. But won't. I haven't.

The gym helps. God helps. Love from my fiancé helps.

Restricting does too. 118.8. Good weight I guess.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Main St,Pleasant Grove,United States


Peridot (G+P) said...

OMG she FUCKED UP!! Did she sew a corset in or majorley munt the pattern? D:< She turned a pretty dress and an amazing bride into a disaster zone. I am angry at her for such an abuse of good fabric. GET THE LINES RIGHT, WOMAN!! *Sigh* The Tailor will see you right.

*Huggles* Yell into a pillow, feed ducks, shoot things on the internet, write obscene limericks, cuddle a cat or play silly games with a small child, anything that lets you vent without destroying yourself.

Best of luck for your big day! I'll be there in spirit, making sure you get rice in your hair :p

PaperDoll Perfection said...

Oh gosh.. i'm having really really bad depression, together with the insomnia and all right now too.. really admire how you managed to stop yourself from doing all those self destructive stuff. i should really learn from you:) Don't worry, i'm sure the tailor will make it right:)

zephora said...

I know a good bit about depression, and believe it or not, a good cry can really help. You're getting married, wow, I have been gone so long. Good for you!!! And it's completely normal to cry at your wedding, so don't feel bad if you do.

Mich said...

You do not look fat! That dress is lovely on you!!! I looks like it just needs some tweaking. Were you wearing something under it? There's always a girdle. And wearing a girdle does not mean you're fat - it just means you're going to have a 16-inch waist if you do it up tight enough. :D

Hang in there, luv. The depression could just be all the stress about the wedding hitting you at once. Take a hot bath and relax for a while. You deserve it!

lauren said...


seriously .. it doesn't look bad at all.
its kinda like when you have a pimple & cover it up .. you are self-consious about it all day, but NO ONE notices it.
because they CAN'T see it.

you look gorgeous.

i wish i was there to share it with you.

Analise said...

I love your hair :)

Peri's suggestion of feeding ducks made me laugh!
I usually write stuff down when I get like that. It helps to be able to communicate my feelings to people without flying off the handle.

Good luck for the big day ^_^