I'm not traumatized by what I'm trying to work through. I'm not having PTSD or crippling flashbacks. What I experienced was mild to the horrors that so many people go through.
How I Do Feel
Angry and resentful. She (yes she) should have known better. She should have thought about what she was doing. She had no right to take advantage of a child (me) like that. She (having experienced abuse herself) should have known it was unfair to do the same thing to someone else (her own sister to make it worse). She should have controlled her own fucking impulses because SHE WAS OLD ENOUGH to consciously know what she was doing.
The Why Doesn't Matter
I've already justified why it happened (and therefore minimized it all) my entire life. So I don't really care why it happened. Bottom line–IT WAS WRONG.
to be continued.