You're not alone

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

We're All A Little Disordered

I wrote this on my personal blog, shared it with friends and family :). Enjoy


I have been trying to come up with a clever title for this post. Hopefully I can draw something from what I am about to say to give it a smashing one.

I am not angry at you, world. I am sad. I am sad that (usually) the first compliment we give to friends or strangers is about their bodies or personal image. As my husband says, comments like these are easy because they don't require you to directly interact with a person or to even really know the person whatsoever. The are comments that can stem purely from observation. You don't have to know me to notice my good hair, nice eyes, great legs, or changes in body shape from when we may've last met (cause trust me people I rarely talk to have talked about my weight with me). We all do it, we will keep doing it, and it is WRONG.

I started my recovery process for an eating disorder in the fall of 2010. It has been a long process, but over the past year and a half I have been way more candid. I have opened up and told my story to people. And do you want to know what the first question I usually get asked? 

"What kind did you have?"

I hate answering that question because I think it's irrelevant. I wish people understood this very important thing: Any form of disordered eating is not healthy. Why do we have to put a label on what kind someone has? I was about to rant about how there are three categories, anorexia, bulimia, and EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified), but I guess onestudy they have added two categories: Psychogenic Vomiting (the relation between patterns of vomiting and psychiatric diagnoses)
, and Pica (characterized by an appetite for substances largely non-nutritive, such as ice, clay, chalk, dirt or sand).

Whatever

Now my ADD has kicked in and I want to take this post all over the place. I will not. I will keep it brief and to the point. 

We are all a little disordered okay? Maybe you don't focus on food or body image in the same way as someone who has (or hasn't) been diagnosed with an eating disorder. But, society focuses on body image and food so much, I truly believe we are all a little disordered (in case you can't tell, I have used this for my title by now. I actually came up with the title in the third paragraph).

We all make comments on our bodies, or how "bad" we are being for eating that dessert. We compare our bodies to our friends, we peak at their plates to make sure our portions match.

People are trying to be positive with the compliments, but by stating positives we imply negatives. So when Sally says "Mindy you are so good for not eating that cookie, I can't say no." Would she then tell me the next time I ate a cookie, "Mindy you ate that cookie, you are bad, you can't say no". (Do it, I dare you.)

If you want to talk to me a simple, "Hi Mindy" would suffice. If you want to say something positive about me "I notice how hard you work" "You are a very passionate person" would work for me. 

If you want to have small talk, I enjoy talking about the weather, not clothing sizes. 

9 comments:

désespérée de maigrir said...

AMEN.

What else can I say?

Peridot (G+P) said...

THIS. THIS THIS THIS.

How about that local sports team, ay?

<3

LUFFLES YOU!

Peridot (G+P) said...

P.S.

I don't have deity-ordered rules, just what I dislike and Miles dislike and what we negotiate between us. (Greta's "Broccoli Test")

Lol, it's like the buzzy cockring that confused Miles. "It's not replacing your dick, it's giving it a power-up. See?" "Oh. OH YUP I SEE NOW OMG" That was hilarious. And fun. Hilarious fun.

Lol TMI is too much fun :p

Love you!

Lilith Immaculate said...

This post is absolutely wonderful. I want to share it with everyone, because it is just that brilliant! Love you, girly.
P.S. i'm getting back into the blog scene, so stop by and check out my blog. I'm doing my best to keep in recovery too. We can support each other through it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mindy :)

Love your posts. Hope you're well and the weather is nice.

C

Stick Thin said...

Yep!

Stick Thin said...

Lol love you!

Stick Thin said...

Please share! You can credit this blog or my personal mindythedrummerswife.blogspot.com

Stick Thin said...

Hmm