You're not alone

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Working and working

6 days a week. I have started training for a book keeping job. I am really excited to be starting. For now I will have to be doing a lot of driving, but it's okay. When I experience hard things I need change.
It's been so nice cutting back on salon days. I make the same amount of money and I spend less than 30 hours there. I have to work less with my annoying co workers. I feel sad because I will lose some clients, but the best will stick with me.
I have not lost any weight all week. I ate way too much on Sunday and have been eating apt more the last couple days. I want to restrict but the way I have been doing it is really bad. Like barely eat breakfast, no lunch, and then finally a late dinner with the husband. I need to be eating small frequent meals so my metabolism doesn't get soooo low.
On a positive note I have been trying to do a little jogging. My feet and ankles are still retaining water, so I can't do too much. I ran just over a mile last week and then 2.5 on Monday. I hope to do another 2 miles tonight depending on when I get home.

I am really disgusted with my body. Even though I didn't really start showing before preeclampsia, I have post pregnancy boobs. It's disgusting. My boobs swelled huge and they took about 2 weeks to dry out. Now I have hideous stretch marks and saggy boobs. On the sides of my waist (obliques? Where love handles are, so glad I don't have those!) I already had white stretch marks. And they grew a little from my body swelling.

I hate wearing clothes and being put in public!!!!!! I hope running will help some of those things I just complained about.


désespérée de maigrir said...

Congratulations on your new job. You are so brave taking on something new at this time - though I suppose a change might be why you need.

Don't be disgusted with yourself, you are beautiful, stretch marks or not. I'm sure that when you're no longer retaining all of this water you'll feel better... and in the mean time, try some cocoa butter! Even if it doesn't really help make the marks go away, it does make your skin so soft and smells amazing...

Glad you're holding up.

Peridot (G+P) said...

Less time spent with annoying coworkers is a great thing! :D

Running and keeping your metabolism going will sort things out very soon. A lot sooner than crashing your metabolism would!

*Huggles* Take care of yourself, ok?