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Monday, August 15, 2011

Why is it so hard

Below are my new running shoes. No one told me how to break them in properly, so maybe I've been healing from some pretty bad blisters for a week :p

Okay the title of this post is maybe too dramatic for how I am feeling and what I'm thinking.
I look in the mirror and rarely like what I see. I ran across some pictures of me a year ago. 15 lbs lighter. I felt a lot more confident with myself. Was I too skinny? I don't think so. I have been skinnier.
I run and exercise a pretty good amount. But I still feel chubby. It frustrates the hell out of me really.
I am afraid to cut back or calorie count because I know I will get obsessive, and with school starting I need to use my brain power there.
I swear when I was restricting I could focus on projects easier. Noe that my brain isn't always thinking about being anorexic, coupled with my ADHD, I have more to think about. Ha ha.

So what to do? I think I need to eat smaller meals throughout the day. I do pretty well on my days off. But night time can be bad too. I think my worst days are weekends. So perhaps i'll have two goals this week.

1: no eating after 8:00 (I know that might sound late but I usually don't get home from work until 6:30.
2: 1-2 sweets for the weekend.

I have been in the process of moving :( Bleh. I can't wait to be in our new place.

My puppy has been so much fun! I love running around with him (gives me more exercise too :). He is a ball of energy for an hour and then he'll sleep for three. I love him


Mina Belle said...

those are some interesting shoes. what are they? where'd you get them? how do they feel?

Peridot (G+P) said...

Things are hard because if something comes too easily to you it is never valued properly.

Cheesy example: I value my $300 leather jacket FAR more than my $400 cowhide motorcycle pants, because one I saved for and one was a birthday gift. *Sigh*

Lol, Gym Momma wears pink barefoot shoes. They're so cute!

Emily said...

Wow, nice shoes! What are like to wear/exercise in?
Btw, your puppy is adorable! I just want to steal it and snuggle it all day! (but I won't do that because that would be mean) :D

Stay Strong.

MiniandMerry said...

I understand about the exercise thing and still feeling chubby, I've been hitting the gym regularly for the past 6 weeks and I'm only now feeling the difference - I can't say 'see' because I still think I'm wobbly but the running has definitely toned my legs. I think I've now come to realise it's going to be a long hard slog although I don't know how I'm going to keep it up when school returns either, I don't work well without energy. Those shoes are for the new technique of running aren't they? My friend actually runs those 50 mile races barefoot, I'm sure it originates from the native american running style, I read about it years ago but can't remember now - I'll have to look it up again! :) xx

Anonymous said...

Very cool shoes! I've been seeing these more and more. If I got more into running I'd get a pair. Hope you start to feel better in your skin. You have done an amazing job of kicking this ED crap though! That is great.

Rand115 said...

Those shoes are supposed to simulate running in barefoot, it might be too late but you should start by running short distances on soft surfaces like grass. I bought the nike free run shoes and I'm thinking about moving on to those, but they are just too so comfy :)

Run said...

Love the shoes. I don't think I'd be able to run in them comfortably though.

Moving sucks. After my last 4 moves, I never want to move again lol.

Harlow B said...

I've heard a lot about vibrams, I look forward to hearing how they work out for you.

I wish I knew why it was so hard, changing old habits. I really wish I knew. I always feel flabby no matter how much I exercise.