You're not alone

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Let it bleed

Sometimes it's easier to bleed. Lose weight. Hunger pains. Weak body. Tired brain. Lost soul. Broken heart.

You are passive. You don't know what happened yesterday, last week, a month ago, a year? The hole is always too small

To climb into. Smaller.

Being smaller will cure everything. You know, ultimately. To fit into the hole. Means

You are dead. If it doesn't kill you today, tomorrow, in a week, month, or years, it will get you. Even if you live until your hair is white, your skin is folded

It's taken


Do you really want to continue in pain? Do you really want it to destroy.

Relationships. People are frustrated. You wish they would

Because that's what you deserve. You don't belong. You don't fit in. People see you and are afraid. To talk to you. Who is that girl. Why is she here?

Do you believe those voices? Or do you dare.


PaperDoll Perfection said...

This post is really sad, but i can totally relate to it :/
Hope you're doing fine:))

Peridot (G+P) said...

My friends got married 2 weeks ago.

The pretty dress reminded me of you, and I had a scone with raspberry-chocolate flavoured jam and whipped cream.

It was divine.

Annie said...

i really enjoyed this post. i liked the message. and it was written beautifully. (sorry that sounds cheezy)

Sophie said...

This post somehow sounds sad and hopeful both at the same time, particularly the last verse.
You put it so beautifully; "The hole is always too small
To climb into"
Would that we all could find the hole in which we fit.

Anonymous said...

Hello girls I have returned to blogger after trying to lose weight the healthy way and developing a better mental health I gave up I threw it all away to become "Delicate!!" Threw all my hard work away so I could eat from one extreme to another, to get to my goals quicker!! As many of us do we give up and think it will be easier and quicker to try a stupid diet which you only end up binging and back to square one!!

I am ashamed of my choices and want to continue down my path of being healthy!! I can not believe I nearly threw it all away!! I have decided to give it my all 100% and nothing less!! I will reach my GOALS but in a HEALTHY way!!

I too want to look great in a Bikini, in that Little Party Dress, in those CK Jeans but I want to ROCK them without feeling GUILTY, without LYING to all those around me and to not be KILLING MYSELF in the process!! I want to look HOT in ULTIMATE HEALTH and HAPPINESS, I want to have AWESOME SELF ESTEEM and I want to ROCK CONFIDENCE!! I want to earn the JOY of achieving HEALTH - HAPPINESS - SELF ESTEEM and CONFIDENCE the right way not the wrong way!! I want this more than anything in LIFE and I am going to get it !! It is now or never, there is no looking back!! Please support me and I will return the favor!! I choose to follow girls with distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through compared to "normal eating" girls they just think I am crazy!!

I am putting this every where because I know I will influence at least one person out in this great big world to never give up and to keep trying!!

jenny said...

hope you're feeling a lot better babe. i'm here i you wanna talk :)

Ana's Girl said...

i can so relate to that post. it's beautiful in a very heartbreaking way. hang in there, love. hope you're feeling better now.

PaperDoll Perfection said...

Hey<3 I nominated you for an award!

Weightless and Free said...

Stunning. Written flawlessly and with such poise. Very nice work. Hope you're doing well. :)