Restricting

Makes me feel high

Makes me anxious

Makes me not able to sleep

Makes my husband worry

Makes my husband want to feed me like a child

Makes me feel in control.

Cons outweigh Pros, but often reason is shoved under the bed and I let the illogical 'sick' self roam free.

Past

I hate seeing pictures of myself from when I was thin. I still wish I looked small and fragile. It's a battle to not jump into restricting again.

I have been running regularly. My. Legs are looking really toned, but my upper body? Yucky. I wish I could just be happy with the way I am.

Running

I am done with CFC and it feels good. I am just trying to balance out my life, rediscover things, decide what I want to take from treatment, and move forward.

I have been running regularly since mid February. At first I felt like I was just getting fatter, but I told myself it was just muscles. Well the last week or so I've really noticed my body tighten and tone up! I have lost 3-4 pounds, but I am most happy about how I feel when I run.

Free. It's exciting. Ah.

Going to do 4 miles now. Ta