Disapearing

I miss the days of fasting. When I felt high and empty. Is it real happiness though?





























































































































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You are hungry

Telling me when I'm hungry does not encourage me to eat.

I love him, but tonight was shitty



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Thinspo

Exercise: 25 min stair. 25 min treadmill fast walking

I can't get away from wanting to be this:























































































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20 chews, swallow

Intake: 1300 ish. I round way up sometimes(no more sugar you tard)
Out: 450 ish. Ran 45 outside
Weight: still he same as a few days ago

Dinner was funny tonight. I served myself a ton of salad, half a cup of rice, and a small piece of chicken. Our conversation was rather quiet. Then P asked what I was thinking.

Me: you don't want to know(shift my eyes to the side)
P: tell me
Me: I was counting my chews
P: how many?
Me: 20(then I swallowed)
P: 20 chews then swallow? I want to try.


Great I'm teaching my husband how to develop weird eating rituals :)

Below: pumpkin I carved last week.


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Skinny Fat

- there is a phenomenon which I call 'Skinny Fat'. This is in response to Victoria Crimson. I for some reason could not post on your blog.

If you are restricting and only doing cardio without doing resistant or weight training, you aren't building muscle, just losing fat. So on top of cardio, also do weights :)

Intake: around 1000
Exercise: about to do some calisthenics.

I got home and P had dinner ready. While I was eating my salad he asked:

Did you have breakfast?

Yeah, remember that little muffin?

Did you eat lunch?

I had some dry cereal.

Ok.

Ok.

Are you being honest?



I do not want to play this game every day with him

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